Come ti vedi tra qualche anno?

Una domanda che tutti ci siamo posti almeno una volta, e sicuramente ci siamo dati anche una risposta.

Un medico, un avvocato, un insegnante, uno di quelli che svuota i cestini sul cisalpino, ecc… però è anche risaputo che il futuro riserva sempre delle sorprese, per ESSERE SICURAMENTE SICURI di dove andremo a finire, dobbiamo assolutamente fare questo AFFIDABILISSIMO test, che ci dirà se abbiamo delle abilità particolari per prevedere il futuro X:

PREDICTION TEST CAN YOU SEE INTO THE FUTURE? Tick the boxes of this simple questionnaire to find out if you have ESP abilities and potential psychic personality traits Q1: Have you ever: A Had the eyrie feeling that you’ve witnessed some new situation or episode on a previous occasion? Dejà vüüüüüüüüü B Known what somebody’s going to say next. Spesso indovino quando mi mandano a fanculo! C Never felt you’ve lived through a situation before or anticipated an event. Non è che sto lì a pensare a quello che non succede ._. Q2: When the phone rings do you: A: Sometimes know exactly who’s unexpectedly calling? Vedo il numero sul display, sono mega un veggente B: Guess wrong but the next person to call is the one you were originally thinking about? che è, laggo? quant’è il ping? C: Never think about who it may be. Insomma fotte un cazzo XD Q3: When lost while driving in a strange town have you ever: A: Depended entirely on your logic to find your way? Hanno inventato i cartelloni stradali eh B. Recalled a dream of the location? Sì, mentre guido spesso mi addormento, sogno il luogo in cui sono, e poi trovo la via!!! C: Follow your instincts and drive straight to the address? Sì, ma finisco sempre in sexy shop o strani bar pieni di motociclisti affettuosi Q4: Are you a person who: A: Is the life and soul of the party? Più che anima della festa direi l’imbarazzo B: Likes to express themselves but not excessively? Tipo “passami una birra” o “devo vomitare”, sì… C: Prefers to keep their counsel? Sto in un angolo e piango insomma	Q5: When things go wrong do you: A: Become withdrawn or depressed? No no, salto di gioia! B: Remain anxious but hopeful. Come dire avere caldo ma freddo C. Brush off your troubles and maintain a high optimism. Il Ned Flanders della situazione Q6: Are you: A: Logical and systematic in your thinking? Un momento penso se devo rimborsare un assicurato o no, il momento dopo penso ad un budino al gusto lego B: Have good innovative ideas? “Are you have good innovative ideas?” cazzo vuol dire? XD C: Extremely creative and artistic? no quello è Vinh Q7: When you sleep do you: A: Dream in colour? No, generalmente in bianco e nero ._. B: Never dream? Tutti sognano, lo dici wikipedia. C: Occasionally dream of events that happen in reality? Sì sogno cose che succedono nella realtà, tipo camminare, parlare, ecc. lulz Q8: Do you: A: Keep an open mind about the existence of ESP?Emma Sound Pressure League, certo che esiste, abbiamo sbancato di premi quest’anno!! B. Accept it as completely true? Accetto CHE COSA C. Believe it’s all a load of rubbish? io no parlo arubbish Q9: When you look a cumulus clouds do you: A: See the shapes of faces. Quante teste deformi pero’ deh B: See a multitude of changing pictures. Anche perchè di solito non stanno ferme le nuvole C: See clouds. Quando guardo le nuvole vedo nuvole U_U
PSYCHIC PREDICTION TEST ANSWERS Add up your quiz score and see how psychic you really are:
Q1: A 3 points, B 2 points, C 1 point Psychologists say that a sense of being here before (Deja vu) may be caused by a mix up in the short and long term memory or temporal lobe lesions. In some pathological cases deja vu may be prolonged or continuous. However many psychologically healthy people also experience this odd sensation and sometimes are able to anticipate correctly what will happen next. The parapsychologist J W Dunn believed that deja vu happens because we half remember seeing the future in our dreams. Q2: A 2 points, B 3 points, C 1 point If you know who’s at the end of the phone as it rings you may have the power of telepathy (mind to mind communication). But if you anticipate who will ring next then you have the powers of precognition (seeing the future). Q3: A 1 point, B 3 points, C 2 points The clairvoyant ability to psychically perceive distant locations was dubbed ‘remote viewing’ by the CIA who employed psychics to spy on Soviet installations during the Cold War. However if you dreamed of the location in advance then you may have seen the future. Q4: A 3 points, B 2 points, C 1 point. Psychic researcher Betty Humphrey from Duke University, USA discovered that extrovert personalities displayed better ESP and precognitive abilities than introverts. Q5: A 1 point, B 2 points, C 3 points In 1977 researcher John Palmer examined every single published experiment on neuroticism and ESP. He demonstrated that highly neurotic people were poor ESP subjects and optimists scored better results. If you’re an optimist you’re more likely to see the future.	Q6: A 1 point, B 2 points, C 3 points Imaginative, creative people, and particularly artists, score better in ESP and precognition tests than systematic thinkers. Q7: A: 2 points, B: 1 point, C: 3 points People who have intense or lucid dreams often experience precognition. The parapsychological theorist John William Dunne proposes that during sleep we enter a parallel time plane and can witness events of a prophetic nature. Q8: A: 2 points, B: 3 points, C: 1 point. People who believe in ESP often score better in tests than sceptics. However, some sceptics have ESP abilities whether they like it or not and score significantly below chance in card tests. If no ESP were involved they would have only achieve a chance score. Q9: A: 2 points, B 3 points, C: 1 point Psychic people can often visually project images into random shapes. The great prophets such as Nostradamus would look into water or smoke markings to see the world’s future in the shapes and patterns formed. The fortune telling systems of sand reading and tea leaf reading also employ this technique. HOW DID YOU SCORE? 9 to 14 points- You’ve a long way to go. For you the future’s a closed book. 15 to 20 points- Not bad. Even if you don’t see the future you’re probably very telepathic.. 21 to 27 points- You have amazing prophetic powers- but you knew that I’d say that.

Io ho totalizzato 14 punti, insomma sono appena al confine tra normalità e telepatia, yay.

Questa ragazza invece credo abbia totalizzato -9658 punti, voleva fare arringhe e si è ritrovata a prendere merluzzi.

~ di danisama su 28 Aprile 2008.